by practicalspactical

My days are full of thoughts and reading — spent three hours in the library trying to reason my way to a theory of legitimacy of governments — realized whole project is built on sand — not sure why a government needs to be legitimate — later — what’s later — barely ate today — bagel for lunch — two slices of pizza for dinner — fine I guess — but was lightheaded for awhile — still exhausted — did not sleep on Tuesday — stuffed my head with Must-See TV Thursdays — still a couple hours left — beautiful girl came to my apartment — guest of my roommate, but some guest — favor for a friend I guess — Spanish — not much English — my age — smiled but did not get her name — strange strange what am I what am I the world’s dumbest man — man-bear-pig — to the extent you can trust the word of a Belgian, yes — Snippet of Simpsons — hours — legal research after — two cigarettes — the quitting is coming — pulling back — a text message received — facebook stalking — some pudpulling, sure, that happened — what is this, a list — none of your business —

List of banalities. Daily record. Flush. All the shit of the universe, the useless piling shit piling over and over and over six billion times better or worse with a few hundred adventures shoved in the mix — some adventure this is — thinking thinking always thinking now — twisty and clever — turned it back around — we begin as always with the text of the statute — I got that Sentimental Feeling, That Sympathetic Feeling — This is a Postmodern Poem — This is Playing tennis without the Net — My sister moves to Nashville — check — My brother stays in Philadelphia — check — I have several wild cards — maybe — no interest in anything — no future at all — Oh yes — An image of my hypothetical imaginary non-baby with my ex-girlfriend, sent to me by my ex-girlfriend —

I am so old and aged — I have grown blind in the service of my country — 27 — young, but at the end of my life so far — and surrounded by those younger coming up — Daft Punk is playing in my house — top of the world should be — but here I am in a city not mine lacking friends lacking connections urggh not pushing not pushing hard enough — come to late — belated — I should be working — I should be saving — procreating even, maybe, though really, get yourself together man — well anyway anyway anyway this can’t continue

Record of my madness. Final thoughts on Elsewhere. Where to tomorrow? Friendly obligation or Sunk Cost? Soulfatronic or Yo La Tengo — Yo La Tengo, Yo La Tengo — Watched Old Joy a year ago — movie about friends drifting apart — soundtrack was by YLT — would be a shame if I took the wrong message from it —

My old best friend was in town a couple weeks ago — we still get along — easy comfort of that — introduced me to my girlfriend, he did — can’t blame him, the joy I got from that was immeasurable, an infinity, a black hole’s worth — divide by zero, do not pass go —

My eyes are bleary eyed. More than five hundred words I’ve written now. Thoughts. The Trace of Mind. Left here. True Face, Here, Without Names, Public But Not Public, Idea of Publics, No Privates, No Privates Here, nevertheless clearly the Writer of this Blog Record is merely one more Character, the Character who has access to my thoughts and history and experiences but is NOT ME, no a Projection or Hologram or One More Dodge, Get Out Of, one more sleep comes melotonin pill in my system fat lot of good that will do me snippets of television snippets of writers the writers smart as the writers probably not an Einstein though unfortunately not so smart as that lack focus lack ruthlessness like to take it easy peasy pie — floating on my back down a lazy rolling river in the sun | Pictures Worth A Thousand Words, I Write This Now At Night Time In the Witching Hours of the Morn With Little Sleep and Tired Eyes | Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Sweet Juliet, A Thousand Times Good Night A Thousand Times Good Night A Thousand Times Good Night A Thousand Times Good Night —-