Behind the Face
Laying in my bed on this saturday morning in the year that the world is supposed to end. Thinking about the infinity I feel when I turn inward — the endless spaces, thought without limit, well and truly equal to the abyssal reaches that stretch down in a bottomless pit that appears to rise above my head (but only because I’m standing upside down) every time I leave my fourwalls — just like that, it is, lying in bed, now sitting at my computer, before that on my couch, working, not working, reading, not reading, talking, in it, the endless spaces —
A world, verily, a veritable world. In the original, means the same as Old Man. The Oldness of Men. The Ages of Men. Microcosmos and macrocosmos. The inner and the outer. Verily.
And all that. Hidden and totally occluded from the universe, no more visible than the face of the sun — less visible — hidden behind a face, an infinity of size & purpose & possibility & appearing in a small frame, a three pound piece of slop and water with appendages attached — and then a face, and a mouth, and the vibrating air that tries (but fails) to prove to the world the universe within.
And so we go out into the world, and confront these other universes, but we cannot see into them, they are always hidden from us, and of what we cannot know, we cannot speak, and of what we cannot speak, we must be silent, and yet we know, and to those who accept the reality of the world, and the worlds beyond — — —
And perhaps that there then is both the faith and the love and the difference — dwellers in our own universe, we look out at the world, and see the res externa as just one more extension of the res interna, with the edge of the universe stopping at the faces of others, being silent as to what’s beyond — when in fact, the situation is reversed, and all our res internas are simply extensions of the one great res externa, the one great world —
How easy it is to forget about others, to ignore them, to pass over, because they are unknown and unknowable and alien —
How easy to see the world as it isn’t, and how impossible to see it as it is.