Five Years Ago Today

by practicalspactical

The AV Club review of Mad Men asked me to consider where I was five years ago today, what I was doing, what I remembered; I looked; I had just started writing this blog;

The post from five years ago today was this:

On Postsecret this morning, this message:

”whenever I want to kill myself, I write letters to Van Gogh instead.”

Curiouser and curiouser. I went to a calendar. It was a Monday. Just like this April 16th is a Monday. Where was I? Are there emails?
What was I doing? I was making plans to go to Europe, and then law school. I was living in a one room studio a block from Rittenhouse Square. And getting ready to leave Philadelphia, for what would turn out to be years.

I had not met the love of my life/this life. I had a small crush on A.Smith, which was a valiant attempt to overcome a large crush on my Ex at the time, A.Steins.

(Five years ago was 1827 days ago) (I fell in love, broke up, became a lawyer, and moved through three cities during this time – but in all that time, was I sleeping? Lying to myself? Kent denying he was Superman?)

I was trying to get out of my lease; maybe sublet for the last month while I was going to be in Europe.

The Virginia Tech massacre had just happened. I had a conversation with A.Steins on gchat. J.Steins emailed me to ask me to lunch, though I do not know if I ever responded.

These were the headlines in the NYTimes Headline Emails I got back then:

‘Nothing to Hide,’ Attorney General Insists
In testimony prepared for a Senate hearing, Alberto R. Gonzales offered a measured apology for mistakes in the dismissal of U.S. attorneys.

Negotiators Say Sallie Mae to Be Sold for $25 Billion
The nation’s largest education lender agreed to be sold to JP Morgan Chase, Bank of America and two private equity firms.

Donors Linked to the Clintons Shift to Obama
The shifting of loyalties is lending the early stages of the Democratic campaign the feeling of a family feud.

I saw !!! in May 2007. I am seeing !!! tonight. Still difficult to search for on the Internet.

I had bought my brother the Stand on DVD for his birthday.

Also, E.LaT had sent me an email, and I met for her coffee on one of those days right around 5 years ago. But we did not turn out to have that much to talk about.

Basically, I was searching then, and I am searching still, though I would say I am farther along, and may have found my life, but I am still not one hundred and thirty thousand percent sure.