Theme of Time, Stasis, Change, Young Men growing older

by practicalspactical

What??? Commodious recirculations. Endless sicknesses of time-sickness. Fresh blooms with dark spots, growing. Standing here, now there. Hair growing longer. Now shorter. Samsonophobia, fear that your strength is in your hair — how many haircuts will I get before I die — growing beards, beards growing grey — sitting on a couch in a room that is not mine any longer — writing from there — writing from here — people I use to know who were my daily present — gone gone gone gone — a woman, a girl, a week, two weeks — looking into a medicine cabinet — heard such things were done — learning some secret — unrelenting rage coming out of nowhere — codes talking in codes — new friends, old friends, all the time in the world, my back against a bodhi tree, weak mushrooms bouncing around my brain — trying to keep my face on straight — darkness coming but not yet — a dying uncle — a 9/11, falling towers, burning or flying — either way — Places I was at — very young — three years old, driving green car my dad had taken home and fixed into class room — rejected by a girl with dark hair — got over that one — I believe that building still exists — could go and see it — wonder who the girl was — could have a husband or a baby by now or just a boyfriend or recently singled or even possibly dead — hard to say — then later — first day of kindergarden, another girl who I knew from camp, older lady is hanging in the trees — I have my he-man shirt on — of course before all this my first great love affair with Mimma-Melissa — wanted her like nothing else — I know what happened to her, she is a mother now, an unmarried mother, then a single mother, now a married mother — she’s a wonderful and her child is wonderful and her husband seems like a great guy — Mimma-Melissa — that happened too — time capsule message in a bottle rocket shot moon shot moon landing somewhere out there Fievel Mouskowitz on the big screen — saw that, great big anti-semitic cats chasing little mice like me — little boy lost — somewhere out there — the great adventure — the playground was a universe and I was master of its own small corner — other time later — other people — great perspective — I was fully awake then — angel on my upper lip — the forgetting touch — nepenthe — oubliette — Labyrynth and David Bowie and a baby up in the air — if you move it this way — junklady and hoggle and Jennifer Connelly brave and fierce and beautiful — my own cousin, Shelly, brave and fierce and beautiful —