Words gone to seed
My sentences have grown long and unwieldy, strange, with long hairs and whiskers sprouting out at odd angles, equivalent to the dreadlocked beards that hippies favor.
No more cute summations.
The one paragraph sentence that says it all.
Instead I ramble, overflow my banks, I am a flooded city, trees and houses poking up above the murky water, the government is gone, absent, incompetent, and I go on, alluvial subconcious pulling up words I once knew to fill & block the white space.
What will be done? How will I ever write a novel like this, let alone a law brief? X sues Y, but why do I care? Is it the liquid work-time they’ll deposit ones and zeroes like into my PNC checking account? Yes that’s it, sure, it transforms into chicken nuggets and movie tickets and ballroom dancing at the Rainbow Room, sure, or another day in this Rotten Apple, Meretricious, vocab word from fifth grade, pulled out of Gatsby, remembered still as a word I didn’t know. Meretetricious beauty, everybody struggling for the same thing, the old nest, the roundabout, laymedown, the big nothing, sad nothing, this is how it goes, how the water goes, perfect madness, endless sadness, comma-d phrases, lists by Whitman, I sing, I sing, leaves, pages, my backpages, and the attics of my life — I am a fan (Dan’s fans, here me blow) of the Grateful Dead rockband — I was not always, not as a child, but I am now — but once, oneday, I reflected, with my friend, Don Thaddeo, about how our endless joy of listening was inexorably and firmly linked to the deep abyssmal sadness and tragedy of Jerry Garcia’s life — how many of his years were blown-away, gone, to the needle — the needle, the hard needle, took him, took others — but it took him, took him seriously, and the endless pleasure — God’s pleasure, no doubt — how did it compare? with the days not lived, both while he lived and after he died? Not that old, no, he could still be living, and yet is not. The Grateful Dead — Man’s Tragedy.
We must make choices wearing blindfolds.
We must walk out into rainstorms without raincoats. We must