The influence of gaslight or electric light on the growth of paraheliotropic trees
bonebrushing the edges of the res interna (upper transcend)
May 6, 2008
the wanderers in the sky
o sense of wonder, planets, greek word for wandering stars — all the stars were magic to them, but planets are magic most — some things are evident to those who watch — watching every night start to notice the moving — crying orphans, no one was watching, people sitting — blue eyes — cold dark desert worlds with wild wild clouds — great and massive Jove place — grey cowled wanderers, wizards, “remember the time you met the wizard” the magician has three tricks;
Taxpayers and citizens and come on, invisible people sitting in hobo jungles too; harmonica and slide guitar; the new trash, 21st century is the flower pushing up through the cracks of the broken shiny 20th — last few pieces of starcy stuff thrown on a barbeque — do you believe in the future? work like you’ll live till 100, pray like you’ll die today … count your blessings Bobby Long, count your blessings broken city — God knows me and I know God.
Bookwright, Songwright, Wheelwright, and TS says “we shall not cease from exploration and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started … and know the place for the first time.”
See what is invisible, and you will know what to write — the invisible stories, the overlooked, the living in the mind, the virtual representations — the ghosts of the minds’eye — beautiful old man, with Robert Frost’s words on my stone memory fossil:
“And were an epitaph to be my story I’d have a short one ready for my own. I would have written of me on my stone: I had a lover’s quarrel with the world.” Robert Frost said that. Robert Frost said that, and now he wanders, a planet in the sky.
May 6, 2008
I shall not murder the mankind of her going
“I shall not murder the mankind of her going with a grave truth” – Dylan Thomas
and that’s the rub, aye, isn’t it, a quick blowaway and then gone, and the human mind with its ten trillion neurons, angel hair wires, seeks to make sense of it all. My uncle sits across from me, bone-thin and dying like a Auschwitz refugee — here it comes, the big reveal, where Daddy explains about the time he killed a kitty cat — I’m watching the Love Song for Bobby Long — so convinced of my own grand destiny —
the stupid story of a stolen love // the mistakes we make // the things we leave // lost // lost child // the fatal sinking mistake // the things you can’t take back // broken little body on the side of the road //
“Leave, leave and never come back.” // “I want a better man, Bobby” //
New stories. New beginnings. The things I’ve done — the things I’ve not done — no regrets, no mistakes, no nothings — read too many damn books, too many damn poems, striving pointing against the constraints of mortality — all that there is between me and my uncle is love, an eternal love that has been sanctified by his passing — a part of me rests in the grave, beyond the edge of the world, and that is ok, I realize, that sanctifies me, and bury my body at the foot of a tree and in the summer go sit beneath the shade and tell stories about me and let that be my monument — the love the love and the leaving — and take joy in what there was and comfort in my uncle’s eternal endless rest.
May 6, 2008
word of the day — ‘furo’
furo, n.
In Japan: (originally) a steam bath or bathhouse (in later use) = ofuro
<< To every house of any pretension to respectability there is attached an apartment called a ‘Fro’, which is fitted up with vapour-baths, and with warm and cold baths. >>
<< The bath (furo) is a pretty deep wooden tub…At its sharper end projects a small sheet-iron flue, which is connected below with a small fire apparatus, and is employed to heat the surrounding water. >>
The bath or bathhouse is traditionally a place of relaxation or entertainment in Japanese culture; Western businessmen, coming in their wooden ships and laughing in their forbidden cities — taken to a beautiful wooden inn, with warm baths — East India Company Factors — smiling faces, inscrutable Easterners, swift sunrise, close your eyes and like it — water wet, eyes tightly closed — upside down and wrongways, but the lifeforce is strong and insatiable — unyielding compulsion / boy smiles, naturally / strangeness for me, normal for him // M. Butterfly. Business done above the table, business done below it // San Francisco a colony of the Sunrise Lands, but place of our sunclipse, where the world spins out of light’s gaze, hiding, darkness // no more darkness, Stonewall riots, is it anywonder that they, the Wildeans, the men who love men, soldier-brothers, is it any wonder they have gone to old stagehouses and playhouses, to put on masks and faces and wigs and dresses, to dance and sing of falsehoods learned through three thousand years of being called an aberration — Old Father John Wesley said it, called it Abomination, but clearly, just one dial out of many, paraphiliac velvet undergroundsome, come with me to the baths, they say, crazily, chemicle lustpaths lit up by fire, hunter becomes hunted, now I am pursued, curly haired and thin occassionally I get looks — it is not for me, I’m far to shy, happy with my S.Q.S.O. — but willnot cannot pass judgment, pleasure, fun and pleasure, secret rooms, secret baths, conversations over saki —
what, a girl then, a girl to conclude business with, whatever you wish whiteman from sunset lands, whistling while the world moves on, here, is she pretty, is she young, take her to the baths and let her clean you —
almost did it — denial of own humanity that — distance from myself, my mindself, driven mad by clean soap smells on lovely softflesh — slaves to the priapic tyrant, the urge, the itch, reminds us that we are not angels, but men, with knees that bend —
May 6, 2008
color of the day — ‘green eyes’
green eyes – sensual, friendly, successful – PANTONE 16-0224
// you are sensual and friendly and are a desired addition to any social gathering / you are fun to be around / talking and connecting with others is a favorite pastime of yours / you can be very scienfitifc or extremely creative and usually have a knack for both / your personal color helps nurture your creative talents / wearing, meditating or surrounding yourself with the color Green Eyes can help direct you toward finding your perfect mate and temper any inclinations to go to excess //
… across a crowded room, green eyes I’ve known in darkness flash and smile at me … to be known in darkness, to apprehend another’s eyes … endless depths, darkness and light … mixed and laughing … know and love me … sitting alone … once I lived on the edge of my eyes … out there looking and searching … and then finding or thinking I’ve found I stop searching … turn inwards or downwards … distracted by beauty and being loved … staring at greenleaves watching my heart grow … ivy wrapping around my heartstuff … beautiful romantic greenness … fingers and claws of slothbears … a beautiful girl smiling, with a grass woven garland … you’re my beautiful girl, NS, you are … green eyes … music in the background, ingènue … stock character, gentle sweet virgin, due to lack of independence … the male gaze and the female spectator … developing the female gaze … gives away or special pleadings … talking and connecting with others … playing with virtual chesspieces dancing around in the mindspace … ‘i’m just a girl’ … children on the train, burning youth fire and unformed faces … wait a moment and watch someone fall off the end of the world, that will put a line on your face … but we know God and God knows us … favorite american pastime, green grass, baseball pitch … standing down on the corner of royal street … these are the green green eyes, sing me a song of green green eyes, soak your shirt in the washbin and get yourself all clean …
The influence of gaslight or electric light on the growth of paraheliotropic trees 